First Posted 26 June 2014

And a whole lot more as well … ouija boards, iridology, palm reading, tea leaves, just to name a few. All of these have one thing in common; they just aren’t scientific. And at the risk of offending anybody, I could even throw in religion. Give me a break!

OK, I’m a cynic, but isn’t that what leads to discovery. If any phrenologist can advise me on my future prospects by running their hands around my melon, I’ll be astounded. As to my past, by contrast, my melon is likely to be a veritable plain of information.

I’m also a Gemini which often explains to others why I’m so contrary. Apparently anybody born between the dates of May 21^st and June 21^st are variously intelligent, scatterbrained, curious, bored, practical and wishy-washy. That sounds like a good each way bet to me. At various times I have all these qualities. However I am also occasionally rude, charming, argumentative, conciliatory, fascinating and as boring as bat shit. None of these appear to be typical Geminian traits, so, no; astrology doesn’t do it for me.

And I’m not a good candidate for a night at the Ouija Board. Apparently the spirits don’t like it when an ante-spectre is in their midst; which is not to say I don’t have a good time. I particularly like spelling out obscene words with the up-turned glass but it hasn’t endeared me to anyone who was taking the exercise seriously. But you know what? If you think the departed are interested enough to want to communicate with us, then all well and good to you. In the next life you can hurl all the insults you like at me. Yeah, right! Like I’ll see you there!

Religion? God? Nahhh, I’m not going there. But here is another religion; as believable as the traditional one and embraced with the same zealotry; Global Warming.

What I love most about the debate on Global Warming is the absolute certainty with which the believers consider those with a contrary view as being so incredibly obtuse. To mention amongst any group the fact that one is a Global Warming denier is to be met with howls of derision from the few while the rest nod in agreement with knowing smiles and bobbing heads like a line of spring necked toy dogs. Is there a scientist amongst them … rarely? Nevertheless all present have been so well indoctrinated by the wealth of newspaper articles and television documentaries that never miss the chance to denounce those with a different viewpoint that it is impossible for them to believe anything else. Under the full weight of popular opinion the average Joe has forfeited the power of reason.

An opinion piece in late 2009 by Barry Jones, former Australian Labor Government Minister and Pick-a-Box winner, suggested that Global Warming deniers act on ideological conviction and are strongly drawn to the conclusion that it is all a conspiracy. What nonsensical arrogance! Paranoia and ideological conviction exist in all camps and I would have thought conspiracy theorists and ideologues are well represented amongst Global Warming enthusiasts. Besides Barry, while being a clever man, is not a scientist. For a scientific viewpoint I would rather listen to Professor Bob Carter of James Cook University. Professor Carter has written and lectured extensively on the subject; is routinely attacked for his views but argues with some very compelling evidence on Climate Change. And, with a PhD in Paleontology from the University of Cambridge, he is well qualified to do so.

Global Warming is actually not a science in itself. It is the product of the Science of Climate Change. Strangely, you might say, I believe in Climate Change. I believe that if the world isn’t getting hotter, it’s getting colder. There has never been, in the history of recorded temperatures, a period where the temperatures remained constant. And, more importantly, according to anthropogenic climate change scientific evidence, there has never been a time in the past 10 million years where temperatures were constant for any extended period.

The Science of Climate Change, as argued by the International Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) which is the body appointed by the UN to provide advice on Global warming, is based on computer modelling. We could argue long and hard about computer modelling and I agree that there is no doubt it has a place, but to use it to predict Global Warming is a jump of enormous proportions and breaks most of the rules of scientific theory.

Professor Ian Chubb is Australia’s advisor to the government on scientific matters and particularly in regard to climate change. Prof. Chubb, who agrees with the conclusion of the IPCC says the evidence in support of man-made Global Warming is overwhelming. He then goes on to justify computer modelling in that conclusion by stating that “if you wait for proof you will wait forever.” Excuse me? Didn’t he just say the “evidence” was overwhelming? Computer modelling simply regurgitates whatever a computer programmer puts into it. One could change the entire result with one key stroke.

To paraphrase Ernest Rutherford (one of the greatest of the great physicists), “That which is not measurable is not science. It is just stamp collecting.” Lord Rutherford might roll in his grave at the notion of computer models used as scientific evidence.

Nevertheless non-scientific support flourishes. From actors to Olympic swimmers; politicians to priests; lawyers to larrikins; anyone and everyone who, by virtue of their non-scientific qualifications, can garner any publicity at all will be called upon at some point to proffer their views on the subject; always to be delivered with the same supercilious gawk as if to give some credence to their opinion.

Of no assistance whatsoever in the debate are the ill informed views of pseudo intellectuals like Peter Garrett amongst whose claims to fame are that he fronted the band “Midnight Oil”, a group that regularly wrote and sang songs about subjects they had only visited in the newspapers and being the Federal Minister responsible for a number of political and unnatural disasters in which several people died. Garrett formed views about Global Warming with the benefit of having those views aired and listened to by virtue of his fame as a rock star and the resultant protection of never having to justify himself or place his “hard earned” where it really counted.

OK, so I don’t like the Oil’s music but I do like Ian Thorpe, but when The Thorpedo was asked to promote action on Global Warming his first response to the media was, “Are there really people out there who aren’t convinced?” This response was delivered with a big trademark grin and the appropriate fawning by his traditional following of sun worshippers. Yes, Ian, there really are! And oddly enough, some of them are actually scientific in their approach.